Half State
I get into what I call a half-state during
those
times I’m sleeping but I want to be up.
My mind gets stuck where dreams
and reality collide. It’s near hallucinating.
I see, hear and feel things that aren’t there.
Once when I could hear my family in the kitchen
I was in my bedroom dreaming a fish
was in my bed. I yelled for them to get it out
but they
just laughed. I was furious
and hurt that they wouldn’t come help me.
One time I dreamed there was a dwarf in my
cupboard.
One time I dreamed that my friend and I were at
church.
I told her that this wasn’t real I was in a
half state.
She laughed. I asked her what church we were
in.
She couldn’t tell me so I knew it wasn’t real.
Sometimes I feel my cat sleeping on me
years after the cat had died. I had so many
of these dreams that I’m learning to deal with
them.
When I lay down I tell myself that it’s okay
to sleep however long I want to.
Even my mind isn’t something that’s dependable,
I must trust in the Lord to keep my sanity.